Arnold Plumber

My take on an Arnold Palmer. While described as a concept mix, it suits my tastes for real and if you try it, I hope you like it too. This is also a tribute to my now ex wife who, after close to 700 days of her dragging her feet on the divorce, has finally let it all go. I give you this tall dry drink in honor of our time flushed down the drain. Full notes here: https://www.reddit.com/r/DIY_eJuice/comments/8zlp5l/my_first_shared_recipe_arnold_plumber_unclogging/

Main Note: INW Plum/Grape - Not very many recipes use Plum, but I loved its dryness, yet it was just a hair short of full. Which seemed appropriate to describe my ex so, rather than flesh out the insides (because there's none there), I decided to sweeten it up a bit. INW Grape carries some sweet, some purple but fades enough to let the dryness stand but occasional hints of sweetness keep you staying longer than you should. They help you forget this is mostly peel with no juiciness. Like an artificial sweetener that gives a hint of flavor which, at 1%, has no real substance.

Base: FA Black Tea/LA Lemonade/FA Lemon Sicily - Black tea is dry. It needs some love. Here comes LA lemonade at 4%. Guess what? It's not enough. It's just enough sweetness for you to take the next drag, hoping, wanting, fingers crossed... Don't hold your breath. FA Lemon Sicily is that new Italian woman you've been seeing but she's just a hint compared to the baggage of your past. Sure, she's nice and sexy, but 0.5% is all you're willing to chance at this point. Maybe, eventually you'll up her to 0.75% but she shouldn't get her hopes up. She should enjoy the fact that you have healthy boundaries now.

Accents: TPA Honeysuckle - This adds some perfumic sweetness to confuse you. It's gaslighting at its finest. You keep saying, "But why are you so dry to me?" The flavor answers, "But I'm right here!" You can sense it, but it's got no mouthfeel -- just an ethereal empty promise of joy.

FLV Yakima Hops - This was the missing ingredient. It is the beer you wish you could use to wash away the misgivings. Instead it has turned to an earthy homage to humility that has brought you to hell and back again. It's there to remind you that you are now the salt of the earth. Hold your head high.

(Optional) Coolant: FA Polar blast - I also mix this with Polar Blast at 0.5%,a necessary cold shoulder to her narcissism, that slight numbing coolness to wash it all down the drain like a dead goldfish that will become a radioactive monster in the underworld of the sewer system in some B movie. You survived, but there is no hero here. It was all dumb luck. Only time will tell if it was good or bad.

Let's hope the plumbing can handle the strain of the flush.

Additional Notes: This is good off the shake, but after 2 days the flavors all settle in to me enough and the hops begins to lend that slight fermentation hint.

Variations: One version that I liked, maybe a bit more, was with the addition of FA Bilberry at 0.5-1%.